Day 2

Well yesterday was a complete shit show. I spent the day with my mother and then went to the local bar. The head bartender and the owners are good friends of mine, so when Kyle called me and I ended things with him, they were there. Drinks were on the house last night and it was a damn good thing they were. I needed them.

I think he's finally coming the realization that I'm really leaving this time. And I think it scares him. I'm going to Buffalo to spend some time with a good friend there and Kyle told me that half of him wants to tell me to go to Buffalo single and then see if I want to still try with him when I get home...and that the other half is scared.

I don't really have much to say to him. I told him that I'm done playing this stupid game of "I don't want to hurt her feelings so I'm going to let her think we're still together." That's not how you react when your girlfriend tells you that the girl you've been "hanging out" with is a psycho. I have him MONTHS to do what he needed to do and tell her to get the hell out of our lives, but he hasn't.

So I told him to come get his shit from my house and that I'm going to Buffalo regardless of what he says about it. This is killing me a little bit inside because I love him so much it HURTS, but he doesn't listen.

Day 1

So today marks the start of something new. I have been struggling through the last seven months in a relationship that I thought was worth holding on. I'm completely devastated, but I don't really know what else to do. I ended things last night (I think) because he's been seeing another woman since March. I've waited and waited and waited for him to do something about it. We've fought for the past two months. He's known he's had to do something about it if I was going to stick around. He still hasn't.

So naturally, I'm hurting. I don't really know where things are going to go. I think I really drove the point home last night when I told him I wasn't going to play the game anymore and I was packing up my toys and going home.

Writing is my way of getting things off my chest and what better place to do it than on here where nobody reads my blogs?

So here we go. I'm going to try and do my best to keep my shit together, but sometimes it's not so easy.